Final Post....

For a while now, I’ve been gradually shifting perspective on a few things and find myself with less time than ever to devote to this blog.

Not only do readers expect and deserve posts of a certain quality (and frequency), you expect it of yourself. Otherwise, why bother? So rather than half-heartedly keeping the post count up, I’ve held off writing much, and it’s brought me to a logical conclusion. It’s time for me to stop writing this blog but I’ll continue to write elsewhere, doing work stuff. I’m indebted to all the wonderful commenters and readers who have stopped by to offer their views; it’s what has made the experience so enjoyable..

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GoodBye

Fake It till you make It...

Why I would never make "employee of the month" at work.

1. Technically, I'm not an intern, I'm an employee with benefits, a living wage, and cough, cough, I've graduated, but people keep asking me, "So....(insert long pauses)
how long you here for?"

2. When I comment to a fellow coworker about their fitness and add that I'm interested in gaining weight, suggesting, 70kg as an ideal achievement, they roll their eyes and say, 'You can never be too thin, just like you can never be too rich.'
When I repeat it to my paunchier friends at CTBANK HQ without even thinking about it, they look at me and say, Dude, best to start now."

3. I hate working more then 40 hours a week. (Unless its really urgent work or if i feel i've got nothing to look forward too should i go back)

4. I'm starting to realize I'm more antisocial then I thought I was.

5. I could never disguise my dislike for someone therefore I'm not management material nor a sycophant.

6. At the end of my 3-month work evaluation, my supervisor concludes the mostly positive meeting in which she states, "You just don't seem enthusiastic enough."

Healer....

This is an incredible song and story by Mike Guglielmucci.

He is a great man of God and also a bass guitarist for a worship band called Planetshakers. Mike has been battling an aggressive form of cancer for 2 years. At one point he had about 30 bones fracutured in his body because of his disease. At the time of his diagnosis, the doctor told him that he had only 3 months to live.

As he put it, “when you hear that you’re going to die, that this is terminal, that you need to get your affairs in order…there’s not a lot you can do to make this better. There’s not much…” Except for this….with an oxygen mask strapped to his body - in agonizing pain, Michael picked up his guitar and walked on stage at a recent Hillsong conference.

What the world saw was one of the most inspiring proclamation of God’s grace and greatness in the song “Healer.”

He said that, after being diagnosed, he immediately went into his studio and pressed record. He sang this song from his heart all the way through and knew it was God’s gift to him for getting through this tough season in his life.

“Healer”
You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in You
I trust in You

I believe You’re my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You’re my Portion
I believe You’re more than enough for me
Jesus You’re all I need

My Healer, You’re my Healer

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands

Sabbatical Needed!!

So, I kinda quit blogging for a while (in case you didn’t notice). Actually, it was a long while. The funny thing is that I’m not even sure why I hit the “pause” button on my blog. There was no uber-holy decision to fast from my blog, and I never even really got tired of it.

The crazy thing is that I’ve actually had a lot to blog about in the past few months. A trip to Sabah, Chelsea's visit to Malaysia, A new and revised job description. Two of my nieces who I’ve gotten to see grow up a bit. Politics. Even a few funny YouTube videos to share with the world.

But none of this made it onto paper (or a computer screen to be exact) because I just never took the time to write it down. And you know what I think I learned?

I may need blogging...

I’m not a journaler (though I’d like to be). And I’ve really missed to chance to type a few things out and get them off my chest. So, I’m going to give this another go. I’m not going to try to post everyday like I did in the past, because that’s just not me right now.

After the Break Up (part 2)

The hardest part is that disorientation that comes after the realization. Where to start over. That slow panic that makes you feel cold. It's the sudden realization that you are not as young or invincible as you once thought yourself. It's that ache that tells you that no matter how imperfect it might have felt at the time, that no matter how flawed we are as people and as couples, we still need each other's flawed affection.

LoL. i know that after having read this blog, and finding how depressing it sounds, most people are imagining me ready to jump off from my office in KLCC. LoL, as a matter of fact i remain quite mulishly optimistic, we broke up because we had communication problem and needed some time to sort things out...

i haven't cried as much as i thought i would. In fact i only started crying a few days after, later into the week and only after listening to a song (why is it always a song?)that really stirred up the melodrama in me.

To be honest my biggest fear used to be that i would die without ever having loved anyone. i now find that fear groundless. Love... happens. i don't know how to prove that, or de-construct that so it makes sense, because it's a feeling and as such hard to construct into words.

I'm not giving up on Love...

As corny as this is going to sound... in this besotted and violent world, love is perhaps the one thing, besides a belief in a God, that transcends the temporal and material logic that dictate our short lives.

P.S: here's the song that stirred the melodramas in me...

Microsoft Fail

Got this from here through Joshua's blog..LOL

After the Break up (Part 1)

LOL, this is not a movie review post on The break up starring Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston. Well, i need to get this off my chest and my head somehow, so might as well do it here.

It's been about a week into the break-up... and i must say it still hurts.

It's amazing how one can feel so devoid and orphaned overnight.(Thanks to some closure by family and friends, its reduced by a milestone)

Looking back, i understand the mistakes that i made, but i don't know if i need to blame my inexperience with relationships... or if i was just trying to protect myself. i don't want to reveal too many details, because then it's just going to be me spilling all sorts of nasty details about her and making it sound like i'm tarnishing her reputation out of spite.

Let's just say we are all human and all built and brought up differently. Things that matter to me didn't always raise concern in her... and things that were canon to and from her were at times pathetic to me. (but that fine)

Now that i think about it, it's kind of funny that i just wrote that last sentence, but i think many of you would agree with me that you can't have it all-- it's very hard to find girl who are smart and well-put together, with good habits and goals and personalities and maturity who ALSO happen to be damn sexy (no, i did NOT cheat. Neither did she... that is not the reason for our break-up), because the ones that do have that character usually have been so busy being all that that they forgot that humans are, after all, physical beings, and that at least some degree of comfortness and empathy in each other presence is necessary for all healthy, permanent relationships.

Part 2, coming soon.....